Fans. I've had some interesting experiences with them. I don't mean the ceiling kind. I mean the people kind.
I once knew a lady who called herself my "biggest fan". I bought into it. I kept her near me. I included her in my schedule. I gave her gifts and opportunities. I gave her my time. But when a moment came that I knew she wasn't to be included in everything, I quickly realized that her sense affection had grown into a sense of entitlement...and she chose to betray me. I was no longer of use to her. It was a difficult lesson learned.
The definition of a fan is an enthusiastic devotee (as of a sport or performing art) usually a spectator. It is short for fanatic. Would you like to know some of the synonyms for fanatic? Extremist, rabid, radical...
That sounds dangerous if you ask me.
It's strange really. You go through life wanting to be not only loved but also liked by those you meet. I mean, sometimes you meet a real jerk face and you could care less. But as a general rule you don't want people to dislike you. Where we get into trouble, however, is when we begin to depend on the accolades of others to bring us fulfillment. We have all fallen into this trap in some form or fashion. With everything from growing up and realizing you have mommy or daddy issues to obsessing over how many 'likes' you got on an Instagram pic...how many Twitter followers you have. Wondering how you are viewed or whether or not you're accepted has taken on a brand new face (book). Sorry I couldn't help myself with that one. :)
This issue of fans used to only be the plague of those with public persona's: celebrities, politicians, CEOs, and anyone in a leadership role. But in these days and times anyone with a smart phone can suddenly have a following. So how do we deal with it?
Living my life in a proverbial glass house as a pastor's wife has given me plenty of opportunities to reflect on what I need from people...truly need from them. I suppose it's come down to what role they play in my life. For instance, I really need unconditional love, respect and time from my husband, Mark. But I don't need that from some random person in my church. Unfortunately, I watch people everyday need everything from everyone they meet. Make sense? They are constantly looking for affirmation from everyone: their spouse or family all the way to the barista at Starbucks. If someone, including a complete stranger, does not affirm them the way they are hoping it throws their entire day into a tail spin. We cannot live that way, friends.
Glance back at the definition at the top of this page. Do you see the last phrase "usually a spectator"? There's one of the problems. We put so much stock into the opinions of those who are simply following us rather than those who are running beside us. The Lord told me one day that I can never have a passion where I've made no investment. I can be excited. I can say complimentary things about a particular situation. I can even have great emotion concerning something. But only investment can conceive passion that gives birth to committed results. When someone is simply following you and not investing in you, they can lose their sense of passion faster than you can blink your eyes. All that has to happen is for you to do one thing they disagree with and they are out. Where do you think the term fair weather fan comes from? I watch sports fans every season disagree with some call, trade or play that a team makes and suddenly they are pulling off bumper stickers, changing screen savers and burning jerseys. It's crazy! So what makes us think that people in our lives wouldn't do the same?
Please don't get it twisted. I'm not saying that we should go around being cynical and paranoid- making enemies of anyone who gives us a compliment. I'm simply saying don't forget where your true sense of identity should come from: your Creator. You will go through seasons in your life when even those closest to you may not understand your decisions. Or worse yet, betray you due to those decisions. If you do not know who you are and what your purpose truly is on this earth, those things could rock your world.
I am so appreciative to those in my life who support me. Their words of kindness have at times been the very thing the Lord used to help me put one foot in front of the other. But I can't get stuck there. Those are times of strengthening and refreshing but they are not supposed to be what I live for. I live to fulfill the Kingdom destiny God created for me. So I pray that you would join me in my quest to not gather followers and fans. But instead to purposefully live my life raising up leaders who can in turn impact their sphere of influence on this earth. Life is way too short to live as a people pleaser. I'd much rather be remembered as a world changer!
